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crushcrushcrush thoughts

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Dedicated to :iconsilvercresent11: who came up with what the bad boys REALLY had on their minds. It made me laugh so much I had to share it with everyone.

I substituted "ravage" for "rape" so not to frighten Sirius.
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© 2008 - 2024 wotchertonks7
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DestinyLovesShiva's avatar
Then I'm in the mood for some Animagus lovin' with Sirius!
--------------
Sirius:Rose... I SO know you want me!
Rose:Yes I do, hot Animagus hunk, you're so michievous yet cute!
Remus:Hey! I thought you wanted Remus!
Severus:If you want to make love with Rose, form a line behind me and Sirius, Remus!
Rose:What are you gonna do to me if I don't want you, Remus?
Remus:I'M GONNA RAVAGE YOU, WEREWOLF STYLE!!! ARRRRROOOOOH!
Rose*Puts a magic necklace around Remus's neck*: Say any words you can think of to subdue Remus, Sev and Sirius!
Sev&Sirius:SIT, REMUS!
*Remus falls flat on his face*
Remus:GRR! THAT ONLY MADE ME ANGRIER!!!
Rose:The word please, Sev and Sirius.
Sev&Sirius:SIT, REMUS!
*Remus falls into the lake*
Rose:Who wants to make love with me 1st?
Sirius:Me, please!
Rose:Ok!
*Sirius and Rose make love first, then Sevvy gets his turn!*
*Remus somehow escapes from the Lake!*
*Remus runs over and ravages Rose werewolf style, she conceives his child!*
Rose:IYA! Pregnant by a ravage!
Severus:Bad Remus!
Sirius:Very naughty Moony!*Gives Remus a spanking!*
Luckily 3 months after, Sirius, Sev and Rose abort her Pregnancy without Remus's knowledge!
*This time Sirius knocked Rose up!*
Rose:Much better!
Sirius:Glad to hear so, beloved!
Severus:I am too, honey!
*Nine months after*
Rose*giving birth*: AAH!
Sirius: Just keep pushing. You can do it.
Severus:Sirius is right, luv!
*Rose and Sirius's son arrives crying!*
*Sirius cuts the cord, swathes him in blue and places him in her arms*
Sirius:Here he is. Canis Major Black!
Severus:He's cute!
Rose:Yes he is!
*Then Rose and Sev have a child*
Nine months after conception*
Rose*giving birth*:OWW!
Severus:Just keep pushing. You can do it.
Sirius:Severus is right luv!
*Rose and Sev's daughter arrives crying!*
*Sev cuts the cord, swathes her in pink and places her in Rose's arms*
Severus:Here she is. Melody Rose Snape!
Sirius:She's cute!
Rose:Yes she is!
*Remus angrily storms in*
Remus: Alright, what's the deal? Where's MY kid?!
*Silence, then...*
Remus: YOU ABORTED MY BABY?! I DON'T RECALL GRANTING YOU THE RIGHT TO!!
*Remus ravges her werewolf style, she conceives again!*
Remus: AND NO ABORTION!
Rose: I won't abort it this time, Moony!
Remus:YOU BETTER NOT!!!
*nine months after*
Rose*giving birth*:OUCH!
Remus: Just keep pushing. You can do it, hun!
Rose*still pushing*: Ok, lovey!
Remus:Beautiful.
*Remus and Rose's child arrives crying, a half-werewolf son!*
Rose:MY KID IS A WEREWOLF!!!
Remus:Hush, I'm that too, hun!!!
*Remus cuts the cord, swathes him in blue and places him in her arms*
Remus:Here he is. Romulus John Lupin!
*end*